And away we go! 2023 is gone and I have yet to run into anyone that has said they will miss it. Given what a turbulent year it was for us, this morning we were very happy to see bright blue sky and moderately warm weather greeting us. It wasn’t like that last year. In fact, last year was quite the buzz kill.

One year ago today, during a blizzard and horrible cold, we lost Donovan to bladder stones, and because of him, Julio had to go on to find a new partner. I miss my boys. They were the gurus of the farm. They could teach you more about mindfulness, presence and enlightenment than any human could. All you needed was a handful of animal crackers as an offering.

On a happier note, TWO years ago today, this little nut came home with us. While a lab puppy will test every inch of your patience, she made it to year two and is turning into quite a friend. One needs to learn quickly on that there are basically only three things that can determine the reason for their behavior: 1. Food, 2. They have an unbelievable amount of energy and need to have their asses run off on a daily basis, and 3. They are crazy attached to their humans. Pepper is a bonafide member of the farm crew. No one is getting on this place without her knowing about it and passing it up the chain of command.

A sense of normalcy has settled in on the farm. As I have posted about ad nauseam in this space, we have been looking forward to nesting into the farm and simply living like the old fashioned couple we are. As such, we are switching a lot of gears. While Zina still has to work to keep our insurance (stupid system) we are tapping into our creative spirits. She is currently studying conversational Spanish, took a class on stained glass window making, and as I write, she is up coloring. I have finally gotten back to my loom. We have re-arranged the studio room in the basement and created room for the fiber arts creations to happen. I don’t know where this textile bug came from; Perhaps from my mother teaching me to sew way back in elementary school, teaching myself to crochet around that time or even the commercials about Rosie Greer doing needlepoint. Who knows, but I have laid down some plans to not not only do it as a hobby, but perhaps to even create a little Etsy shop and go around to local craft shows. Nothing is firm, but the seeds are being sown. In addition to that, I had always been pretty fascinated with spinning wool into actual yarn. One idea I’ve had is to use local fleece from sheep and Alpaca’s around here and spin it into yarn and use the yarn to make shawls and scarves. 

Because of my mother’s holiday generosity, I was able to order a spinning wheel and the associated gizmos and bobs. The co-owner of my weaving shop is a nationally known spinner. I was able to get some guidance from both her, her book, and my weaving coach. The wheel is made here in Boulder and is the same brand as my loom. Now I am sitting here fidgeting, waiting for it to arrive…… 6 weeks!!! Oh well, in the meantime I have taken 3 different courses online and watched just about every spinning video out there. It doesn’t look exceptionally difficult, but they have all said it is like learning to play an instrument. Practice, practice, practice. 

I am actually thinking that this will start to become a big part of my day. Stay tuned!

The rest of this posting is simply a collection of things I’ve put on Instagram. My life has changed an awful lot in the past 2 years. It wasn’t all expected. Some has to do with my physical health but a lot has to do with the fact that I have been journaling for almost that whole time. An author I am kind of enamored with goes by the name Jed McKenna. He, as well as Julia Cameron in her book, “The Artist’s Way” talks about writing as a way of connecting spiritually and trying to find your own truths. I also believe that it and my own reading and studying have been more effective than the therapists have been. Jed’s way of putting it is to “Sit down, shut up, and write until you know something that is true.” So I did. And I have. I’ve gone through over 1000 pages. Once you do that diligently, things change….. a lot. While I can’t adequately describe it you will kind of see both in a genuine way and more of an “I’ve run out of patience” kind of way, what I am getting at.

This is my rest of days. It seems fitting to demarcate it on a day of resolutions. I have 1000’s of pages of journaling that got me here. One should live authentically, unapologetically, knowing who you are and where you are going. I am in agreement with Socrates who said that the unexamined life is not worth living. I have gone from the depths to the heights, gone to over there and back again, I’ve overcome ferocious abuse and have gone over this weird ass universe with a fine toothed comb. I know me. Looking in a mirror at my soul doesn’t scare me in the least. This world, driven as it is by fragile egos, cannot understand it. In a world where most are operating on autopilot, programmed by someone other than themselves, I no longer give credence to the opinion or the gaslighting of others. I am awake and aware. The last third is mine, unapologetically. I’ve lost virtually all of my friends because of it and even still, I am content. One needs to die to the past, see the delusion that keeps everyone blind, see the man behind the curtain and, smiling a knowing smile, walk away into the mist. This world, that has been created out of fear and mental illness, holds no place for me and so I need to leave it all behind. I live to create, contemplate, find fulfillment in the natural world, and say goodbye to a world driven to destroy itself. Many search for ultimate reality their entire lives and fail. I can actually give thanks for an abused life as it set me on a quest to see clearly. I know first hand the terror of being in perpetual survival mode and complex trauma. I have better things to do than to waste my time on the subject matter of the slumbering fools: Religion (which is the Pre-K level of spirituality) lizard brained politics, war, and those that would destroy the living planet to turn the land and water into numbers on a screen and count it as power and wealth. This isn’t some Tik Tok infantile “new me” line, this has been a deep soul crushing examination. This was Jed McKenna style spiritual autolysis – a devouring of the self. It has been a decades long clawing away to find truth. I HAD to know. For me there was simply nothing more important than knowing what was true. I have detached. I have become quiet. I have walked away. I have no more questions.

No one is coming to save you. Here’s to hoping we aren’t totally fucked. We are, but here’s to hope anyway. Why do I say it like that? Because somebody has to say it. Might as well be me. I told the whole system to KMA a long time ago. What is unfortunate is that it seems everyone is getting more and more sucked into it on a daily basis.

Are you even a little bit ready? They make you think it is all “The Markets.” Instead, invest in stuff you need, like food and water and protection and medical and know how to use it all. Learn and invest in skills and barterable items, then get tangible commodities. Remember, as opposed to pre-collapse times, to quote Lynette Zang from ITM Trading, “Today, if you don’t hold it you don’t own it.” Digits on a screen do not make wealth. Even a can of beans has value. Navigating the aisles at Target ain’t a skill set. Don’t get Stockholm Syndrome. You will die broke as your corporate masters suck you dry.

In 2024 please invest wisely. Sincerely, a retired old financial guru. We are living in the age of convergence. Everything is trying to happen all at once.

Here’s a good one: I resolve to wake the fuck up in 2024 and detach from the system as much as possible.

Now repeat after me: I, ______, resolve for 2024 to learn how to grow and preserve my own food. Where I can’t, I resolve to buy bulk and buy locally.

Instead of Kroger, if you can’t do anything else, go here. These are farmers that are DOING. Give THEM your money instead of the poison industrial complex that only sells you chemicals and food like substances.

Can you do anything that someone might barter with you for? Do you do it?

Resolve to learn skills and then teach them.

So what is it, that at its core you can do that is actually worth a shit?

If you want to bring emissions down to pre-industrial levels, one must live pre-industrially. The number of people who have followed me to try to get there in the past 17 years? Zero. Here’s to more awakenings in 2024. Best of luck in the “New Year.” I’m pretty sure Super El Nino gots some schoolin’ cummin’ for most of the population. Even the birds aren’t migrating this year. Mandatory powering down will happen easy or hard. Learn some old timey skills if you can’t do anything else for self-reliance. Peace be with you when the freak out happens, because that’s what is coming to those with eyes wide shut. The Orcs rule the asylum. Resolve to get out if you can, live simply and deliberately, grow food and create local community. Decouple from the almighty devices.

“But JON! You just don’t get it! I live in a suburb and can’t do all those things you do!” Really? Wimp. Excuses are like a..h..s.. This picture was PRE JAZ Farm. If I could, you can.

Oh shut up with all this “I can’t” bullshit. You just need to be willing to be uncomfortable for awhile. The average age of a farmer in America is almost 60 (I’m 61). Someone, somewhere is more than willing to teach you. Unfortunately, it is hard to fill a cup that is already full, or show a head that is completely brainwashed by technograndiosity that tech won’t save you. The US Archery Coach used to say that the problem with the US archers wasn’t due to a lack of enthusiasm and drive, it was that they said “I know” way to much. Having to learn isn’t an insult or a blow to your ego unless you deem it so. Better to learn self-sufficiency now than to be dumb, broke and hungry.

“But you are being unfair JON! I live in an apartment and have limited space. I can’t! I can’t I can’t!! I have to get to WALMART for their cheap Chinese shit!” Ya? Tell me more about can’t. This was a 10X10 room. 100% hydroponic. We grew our salad and herbs year round. 

What do you mean “You can’t?” We did it despite all the naysayers to the contrary. You want to change the system!? This is how ya do it! I started building this at 50! Its all a matter of priority, mind over matter and an understanding of what is of ultimate importance. THAT is a New Year’s resolution worth pursuing. Cutting back on buying shit and drinking less coffee and whiskey and eating less McDonald’s ain’t it. Bite off something worthy of your existence. Focus damnit. There are only so many heartbeats in a lifetime. Use yours wisely so that your children might have a chance.