Wishing all who feed our lazy asses a wonderful Labor Day; especially if you are still laboring today so we can have a Happy Labor Day and a last deck based flesh sacrifice on a bun. Avoid ICE and may you and yours not wind up in a U.S. concentration camp.
Once again, friend Ellen sent me an article that put me in the food pulpit. The article is posted below. This was my rant:
Oh! That is cool that I’m not a lone voice in the wilderness. I have lambasted vegetarians and vegans for years about the slim landscape that can grow non-grain vegetables at scale. There are about three areas on this side of the world (there are others, but three major areas) where vegetables can grow at volume. Should we try what all the IPCC wonks say -that vegetarianism is the only way to save the planet – we will all starve because it CANNOT support a 350 million person population at a 2000 calorie diet with sufficient protein and fiber (not to mention micronutrients and vitamins). It might, if everyone did what I do….. Bwahahahaha! Oh god, I crack myself up. Florida, the San Joaquin Valley, and Mexico are about it. The top soil is so depleted in the Midwest that it could never be readily converted to tomatoes, peppers and onions. Besides that, most of us have this thing we call winter. I have given up on my species, because when they open their mouths about food, they haven’t got one flippin’ clue. I DEFY anyone to come out here, in the vast grassland Prairie, and grow Broccoli at a significant scale. 1. The soil is heavily alkaline. 2. It’s 80% clay. 3. The water is basically liquid rock (full of lime and iron). 4. We get 13 inches of rain per year. 5. We have that whole winter thing 6. The sun will send it into bolt the second it sprouts. Animal protein wasn’t produced as a luxury. It was designed to keep one’s food on its feet and mobile so it can feed itself, and be self moving (herded) to get it where it needs to be processed when needed. Oh ya, they are also ruminants that can turn grass into protein.
But, but, but! Hydroponics and aquaponics indoors that’s the ticket!! LED lights instead of the sun and all done in climate controlled grow facilities. Brilliant…… all dependent on coal and natural gas. But what about solar panels to power them?? I’m not even going there. The best all that can do is grow greens. Ever try to survive on just Romaine? Might work if you have some weight to lose, but that has a shelf life over time. We are bloody fools.
Does anyone know what it really means to eat “in season?” It means making nail soup, killing a hog, hoping you canned enough to get from October to June, not eat each other, and pray to your almighty Jebuzz that there isn’t some fucking plague of locusts when you try to restock for the next seasonal cold snap (winter). May Day and Solstice were celebrations for a reason. The emergence from dark dank hovels to bask in sunlight, screw, reproduce, plant and thank the ever lovin’ powers that you didn’t succumb to whatever awfulness made parts fall off of your neighbors. But of course, it’s all May Poles and Easter Eggs, morphed into the re-animating of some dude with a hammer and chisel.
The actual article:
Because of all of the potential for a food disaster in the mid-west due to all of the flooding, the grumpy farmer has heeded that warning. My sleep schedule usually follows the sun these days. Rarely am I up past nine, and usually awaken around 4 am. Laying there this morning, I started thinking about what this spring flooding (which NOAA says is just getting started) will mean nationally. Bottom line, meat, bread, eggs and Doritos are going to be rarer and more expensive. Keep in mind that Smithfield Foods, that was one of the largest pork producers in the country, is now owned by the Chinese. If pork, in this example, becomes more expensive to produce, that company will likely supply its own country of ownership first. After all, the Chinese don’t have any pretense of following the fallacy that we have of some kind of “Free Market” System. One article I read referenced our Secretary of Agriculture who said that up to a million calves could already have been lost in Nebraska. Meat will never be cheaper than it is right now. Go buy it, freeze it, smoke it, can it or Jerky it.
Because of this, I started shopping for oinkers on- line, on my iPad, at 5 am on a Sunday morning. By 7:30 I had a response and have secured 3 pigs to be picked up in about two weeks. Piglets get weaned from their mothers at around 8 weeks so they have a couple weeks to go. We will get our usual two that will go off to freezer camp in the early fall, and we are spending a little more money to get a show quality female to keep as farm pet and breeder stock. We had one previously, but I couldn’t handle her because of my back injury. Now that we have some more infrastructure, and I’m back to living horizontally, we are going to likely try to breed her later in the fall when she is full grown. Pigs take 115 days to give birth so it stands to reason that we will have piglets next spring!
As long as we can get corn, some feed, and the produce and bread scraps we get from a food bank, we will be able to stay meat sufficient. We can produce pork at a fraction of the cost of the grocery store, it’s organic, anti-biotic free, and it’s non-GM feed. Besides! Piggies is cute!
The incubator is up and running. We are cooking up some turkey babies. We will candle the eggs next weekend to check to see if Mr. Tom is doing his job correctly. Whichever eggs show themselves to be fertile should arrive as fluff balls in 28 days.
Between planting, animals, brooding out this year’s chickens, finishing the hail covers for the gardens, the impending visit from Zina’s brother and his wife, teaching gardening classes at a nursery near our old house, and trying to finish a weaving project, things have been anything but dull. When people are on retreat, don’t they usually just sit and stare at a Lotus flower? I think I’m not doing this correctly.
Behold! The grumpy farmer man teaching the city peoples how to grow food for the Zombiepocalypse!
There are lots of reasons to keep a pantry well stocked. Out here, it is simply logical. We are a 40 mile round trip from the nearest grocery store, so just hopping in the car like a happy suburbanite to go grab a box of cereal because you ran out, simply isn’t feasible. Stuff happens. People come down with the flu or have surgery (hmm…) so they can’t shop, cars break down, the zombies are in the streets, or like just recently, a monster land hurricane descends upon you and you couldn’t get to the store if your life depended on it. For far too many people, their lives indeed do depend on it. But it need not be a complete dependence.
Being the ex-financial guy, my biggest concern is the fragility of our economy. When the next crash happens, to quote Nomi Prins, “We will be falling from a higher height”. Our debt loads alone are stratospheric and in a world of rising interest rates, this will likely end badly. I imagine a time when all the Diesel trucks stop running and city folks sit and wonder what happened to all the mama birds that were supposed to bring in the chips, snack cakes, and candy to the 7/11. Understand that I’m not faulting folks for living in urban/suburban areas, but it is a fatally flawed system. It is a trap that most will find themselves in should the excrement hit the moving oscillator. Rural folks will have their issues too. Isolation being a big one. Most farms today don’t grow food they can actually eat. Everything needs to be processed and that takes energy, fuel, and resources – All of which contribute to an earth where biblical floods inundate the very landscape that is needed to produce food so folks can get out and buy Apples (notice the cap denoting a name not an item).
Seriously though, given just general demand and inflation pressures, food will never be as cheap as it is now. The article pasted below came from a pen pal. I’ve been watching this story unfold since the cyclone hit us last week. I read that one third of the country (mostly in the breadbasket) are at high risk for record flooding. It’s already started. What that means is that farmers can’t get in their fields to plant all the corn and soybeans (and some wheat) to grow food to produce steaks, cheeseburgers, Nachos, Little Debbie’s snack cakes, vegetable oils and the corn syrup for tasty sugary beverages. Just look sometime and do a search about how many items consumed in this country are made with corn. Virtually everything. We are made of corn.
So it stands to reason, that if corn can’t get planted, feed lots get flooded, and industrial meat producers have to pay more for feed, that we are in for one doozy of a spike in food prices. If the flooding further erodes the topsoil, fuel prices will rise because of the increased demand for fertilizers. This isn’t some Doomsday Prepper nonsense. This is happening right now. This is how it happens. We won’t suffer because it got too hot for us. We will suffer because the change in climate destroyed our habitat.
This also will see a spike in farm bankruptcies, many of whom are being tortured by an insane and unnecessary trade war with a willing and eager soybean purchaser, which will lead to a decline in machinery sales, etc, etc, etc. Agriculture is the primary string in a very complexly woven Gordian Knot.
Enough rant. I need to get to the feed store to buy a few more bags of corn; maybe some more rice. Beans. Always need more beans. Perhaps I’ll splurge and buy a bag of Doritos.
We had a terrible gardening season. The drought and the excessive heat (because we all know there isn’t any global warming – idiots) totally destroyed our hard bean, carrot, tomato, pepper, potato, melon and squash plants. We did get green beans, a few tomatoes, lots of cucumbers, basil, egg plant, sweet potatoes and celery. Our garlic was great but that is because it is planted before the hottest time of the year. The onions were on their way and then got wiped out in a hail storm. So all in all it was pretty sad. We produce tons of food and this year we kind of watched helplessly as it all withered in the heat and sun.
So as always, the problem solving had to start. We are in the process of putting up hail guards and sunblock netting over the gardens by the greenhouse. We may begin converting the big garden to more trees and berries. If these crazy heat waves continue (Which NOAA says will continue until at least 2022 – and I think will continue well beyond) we will be continually learning how to improvise, adapt and overcome until we simply can’t.
I am in the midst of canning as usual though. Our goal is to have a couple of years of just canned food in the pantry that we can rotate in order to keep current. We are on our way and we probably have close to that amount of food (not all canned) if you take into consideration the 2 pigs and 40 chickens in the freezer, the never ending re-supply of chicken butt nuggets every day for breakfast, a flock of turkeys, and the individual items that we have canned like carrots and beans, etc and the hundreds of pounds of pasta, dry beans, wheat berries, and oats we have in storage buckets.
We were lamenting the fact that the tomato harvest was a disaster. We got a couple of gallons of sauce made but not nearly the same was the hundreds of pounds we usually get. Low and behold though, we had a source to get some cheap! Zina has a relationship with a food bank near her office. In the past month they had an open house for their donors so they had a lot of excess that they couldn’t give away (probably because of food safety issues). It was still good though, they simply couldn’t use it. Usually, Zina picks up the waste to bring out for us to compost. This goes to the critters and also to fertilize the gardens (We have fed our pigs loaves and loaves of left over bread from them over the years). But this time she came home with about 40 lbs of Roma tomatoes and probably close to 50 lbs of potatoes! The tomatoes were tasteless, but when combined with ours, it made a pretty good sauce. I had already purchased about 30 lbs of potatoes so we combined them with the food pantry potatoes and spent all day yesterday canning 40 quarts of potatoes! Brilliant! So in the last couple of days we have canned over 68 quarts bringing this fall’s canning production well over 100 so far.
Next up is more split pea soup, white bean and ham soup, black bean chili, baked beans, chicken soup, and whatever other canned meals I can dream up. So despite it all, the pantry is staying stocked. Food self-sufficiency folks. Get after it. Even if it is just canned goods from Costco. The prices will never go down, and…. well…. ex-financial advisor here…. the next crash on the horizon will make 2008 look like a ride at Disney. Plus the food tastes better and is better for you. Sorry. It’ll make you have to do something else other than work on your short game at the country club though. Bummer.
Two is one and One is none: